The Plot:
Guns begins with black market weapons dealer Juan Degas aka Jack of Diamonds (Erik Estrada) meeting with a gun supplier from China. After testing a new revolutionary gun, Degas agrees to purchase a bulk of the weapons and plans on smuggling them to the mainland through Hawaii. However, the islands are crawling with Federal Agents so Degas devices a plan to get the agents off the island so he can smuggle his new guns without interference.

Degas then hires two high-tech hit-men to kill key agent Nicole (Roberta Vasquez), but the hit-men mistakenly eliminate the wrong woman. Degas then gives the hit-men a second chance and the two saboteurs finally lure the agents off the island as they chase them to Las Vegas in an attempt to catch them. Once in Vegas, the story begins to unfold as both Donna (Dona Speir) and Nicole figure out that Degas is behind all the craziness.

We’re then introduced to political figure Kathryn Hamilton (Phyllis Davis) as she gives a direct, specific, order, to Donna on how to handle the situation moving forward. We also learn that Kathryn is Donna’s mother. Shorty after this, Degas abducts Kathryn and things turn personal for Donna as she makes it her business to see the safe return of her mother.

The Takeaway:
Unlike Malibu Express (1985), Hard Ticket to Hawaii (1987), Picasso Trigger (1988) and Savage Beach (1989), Guns is a very linear film with very few sub-plots to follow. While this makes it an easy film to watch (you know, put the film in and turn the brain off), it does make for a much less interesting film. As far as direction, editing and pacing go, Sidaris does a serviceable job and delivers plenty of action. However, I’m of the opinion that the film is uneven and carries a weak cast thus lending it to one of Sidaris’ weakest films. As far as performances go, and I’m referring to bad guy Erik Estrada, his ability to perform as a bad guy in the film hurts it. I believe that Danny Trejo could have easily filled Estrada’s shoes in this role and would have been the better choice. And while the rest of the cast turn in average performances at best, Roberta Vasquez as Nicole often struggles and looks uncomfortable in front of the camera.

Film Facts:
Guns was written and directed by Andy Sidaris and was produced by Arlene Sidaris. It was filmed in and around the Hawaiian Islands and parts of Las Vegas. Guns was distributed by Malibu Bay Films and was released in 1990. Erik Estrada, to this day has been a very busy performer. Most of his appearances have been in guest spots for TV and B movies. He is of course best known for his role of ‘Poncherello’ on the TV series C.H.I.P.S. in which he appeared in 139 episodes (1977-1983). Surprisingly enough, the biggest name to come out of Guns was Danny Trejo. Trejo has appeared in over 225 roles/titles to date and can be seen in hits such as From Dusk Till Dawn (1996), Machete (2010) and Grindhouse (2007) just to name a few.

You can find out more about Andy Sidaris and his films at the Andy Sidaris Website run by his beautiful wife, Arlene Sidaris. You can also visit my review of Hard Ticket To Hawaii to learn a little more about Andy Sidaris.

Thoughts In My Head:
- If you have nice tits, you’re a shoe-in for your own Vegas show
- 30 minutes in and no boobs, for shame
- BOOBS!
- Does oil wrestling really need a judge
- Degas’ gold smoking jacket is magnificent
- Erik Estrada’s hair is just amazing. It’s so silky smooth
- Not one Federal Agent in this film is ever fully dressed
- Do acts like Edy’s really exist in Vegas?
- Ninja’s, really now…
- Hit-men should never have to cross-dress
- RC boats and bombs are a deadly combination for some
- Never thought I’d say this, but I miss Taryn as Donna’s partner
- Despite her lack of talent, Edy is hot!

Favorite Badass or Badass Moment: Tong (Danny Trejo), for being a steadfast side-kick to Degas
Favorite Boobs or Boobs in a Scene: Edy, she’s HOT!
Favorite Death Scene: Degas, what an explosion!

Boob Count: 7 pair
Body Count: 16

IMDB Rating: 2.9 / 10
My Rating: 3.5 / 10

Final Thoughts: Guns is possibly the low-point in the Andy Sidaris film collection. It’s somewhat uneven and performances from the cast are average at best. But despite my low rating for the film (what can I say, I’m a fan of Andy Sidaris and B movies in general), I think it’s a fun romp that should be viewed with your brain turned off. Just don’t start with Guns if you’re wanting to explore the Andy Sidaris film collection as it may turn you off to the rest of his films (which are much better than this).