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The Plot: Hard Ticket To Hawaii begins in a warehouse where we see crates and boxes being moved around by those who work there. One such box contains a contaminated snake going to the department of health. Next we’re introduced to Donna (played by Playboy Playmate Jan 1984, Dona Speir) and her agency partner Taryn (played by Playboy Playmate Jul 1985, Hope Marie Carlton). Both Donna and Taryn are agents of the Government (what agency, I have no idea…) and double as island hoppers using their small cargo plane. Donna loads her plane with two tourists wanting to hop islands and also take a snake loaded crate as cargo. Little do they know, they take the wrong snake, the infected snake, onto the island with the tourist.
After dropping off the tourists, Donna and Taryn see a small remote controlled helicopter coming towards them. Inside the toy are two small packets of diamonds. The diamonds are meant for two of Seth Romero’s thugs but are intercepted by the gals. After the two girls fight off the thugs, they head home for a sit in the hot tub (naked of course). After the soak, the gals are roughed-up when two thugs enter the house looking for the diamonds. They fight off the thugs and upon them escaping, shoot the boss, Romero (played by Rodrigo Obregon) in the face, grazing his cheek.
As the film progresses, we meet the other half of Donna and Taryn’s team, Rowdy (played by Ronn Moss, The Bold and the Beautiful ) and his Kung-Fu sidekick, Jade (Harold Diamond, Rambo III ). As these two head towards Donna and Jade they are intercepted by one of Romero’s thugs toting a gun, a blow-up doll and riding a skateboard. After Rowdy and Jade dispatch of him using a bazooka, they meet up with Donna and Taryn and put together a plan to kill Romero and the rest of his thugs ending the terror on the beautiful Hawaiian islands.
The Takeaway: Wow, what a ride I’ve just been on. Never before have I seen a man riding on a skateboard, holding a blow-up doll all the while shooting his automatic weapon at two Federal agents passing by in a jeep. This of course comes from the brilliant mind of writer/producer/director Andy Sidaris. Hard Ticket To Hawaii is an exploitation film at its finest as you get everything from nudity, explosions, gunfire to more nudity. What more can one ask for? Well, for starters, Hard Ticket To Hawaii is actually a pretty good film. Sure the performances from mostly inexperienced actors leaves a bit to be desired, but the story is cohesive and it moves along at a brisk pace never once boring the viewer (ok, maybe it gets boring once or twice). The relationship between Rowdy (Moss) and Jade (Diamond) is at first so bad, it’s laughable. But as the film progresses, the on-screen chemistry between the two pays off as they become the films comic relief. The single worst performance comes from Rodrigo Obregon as Romero. Sorry Rodrigo, you have exactly “no” acting ability and really should consider another line of work.
At first the films script seems to be all over the place in terms of plot as all the sub-text written into the story felt endless. I actually began to wonder were it was all going but as the film progressed, things begin to fall into place and all the loose ends you thought you had, get tied up. Direction from Sidaris is solid as is the cinematography by Howard Wexler. And considering the films budget (honestly, I have no idea what it was, but it couldn’t have been too much), the special effects are quite brilliant. In particular the helicopter explosion and all the gun-fire. Ohh, back to Rodrigo Obregon real quick. While Obregon can’t act to save his own life, he does manage to die convincingly at the end of the film. So a little bit of credit is deserved.
While Hard Ticket To Hawaii isn’t Gone With The Wind (it’s better), it’s an amazing look at one of Andy Sidaris’ boob-filled exploitation films of the 80′s. One I have to recommend to those of you who love less-then-perfect cinema and who love boobs.
Film Facts: Hard Ticket To Hawaii was written and directed by Andy Sidaris. Andy cut his teeth in the business producing football and basketball games of all things. His talent took him to ABC where he worked on ABC’s Wild World of Sports producing and directing for 25-years earning him 7 Emmy Awards for his work. While Andy was a truly gifted TV producer/director, his real talent lied in filmmaking (IMO) as he was a man who had a vision and didn’t let anyone stop him from achieving said vision. You may argue that Andy’s films are less than perfect, and you’d be right, but every one of his films has a charm that isn’t often seen in today’s filmmaking.
Dona Speir (Donna) was born Penny Baker and was just 17 when her layout for Playboy was shot. The layout reported her as being 18 years old. Hope Marie Carlton (Taryn) was just 19 when she appeared in Playboy. She went on to appear in a handful of other films including A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master as a ‘pin up girl’ (in a poster on a wall). She also appeared in Andy Sidaris’ Savage Beach as Taryn. Ronn Moss (Rowdy) has spent the last 25 years in the business working on the daytime soap opera The Bold and the Beautiful . Harold Diamond (Jade) aka Harold Roth worked on Rambo III as a fight coordinator and is also known for being a former world champion kick-boxer.
You can find out more about Andy Sidaris and his films at the Andy Sidaris Website run by his beautiful wife, Arlene Sidaris.
Favorite Badass Moment: Anytime Donna & Taryn are killing in g-strings Favorite Boobs or Boobs in a Scene: Donna. My new nickname for her is ‘missile tits’ Favorite Death Scene: Thug on a skateboard getting blown up by a bazooka
Boob Count: 8 pair Body Count: 14
IMDB Rating: 3.5 / 10 My Rating: 5.0 / 10
Final Thoughts: One of Andy Sidaris’ better films. If you enjoy watching hot chicks with guns, this may be for you.
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James February 15, 2012 @ 2:29 pm What a positively stellar cast they managed to throw together here. With that kind of acting strength it’s amazing this movie hasn’t had awards piled on top of it :p Love the timeline, it’s a very nice touch. Reply
What a positively stellar cast they managed to throw together here. With that kind of acting strength it’s amazing this movie hasn’t had awards piled on top of it :p
Love the timeline, it’s a very nice touch.
Mike February 16, 2012 @ 8:54 am A cast of many, many boobs that is Reply
A cast of many, many boobs that is
jmount43 March 30, 2012 @ 3:28 pm Dona Speir had one of the hottest bodies of any of Andy Sidaris’ ladies. Great post! Reply Mike March 30, 2012 @ 6:40 pm Yeah, she has an amazing rack Reply jmount43 March 30, 2012 @ 7:38 pm From what I recall the caboose isn’t bad, either. Mike March 31, 2012 @ 10:33 pm Correct. Very nice bootie!
Dona Speir had one of the hottest bodies of any of Andy Sidaris’ ladies. Great post!
Mike March 30, 2012 @ 6:40 pm Yeah, she has an amazing rack Reply jmount43 March 30, 2012 @ 7:38 pm From what I recall the caboose isn’t bad, either. Mike March 31, 2012 @ 10:33 pm Correct. Very nice bootie!
Yeah, she has an amazing rack
jmount43 March 30, 2012 @ 7:38 pm From what I recall the caboose isn’t bad, either.
From what I recall the caboose isn’t bad, either.
Mike March 31, 2012 @ 10:33 pm Correct. Very nice bootie!
Correct. Very nice bootie!
Mr. Darko April 10, 2012 @ 4:29 pm Rushed over as soon as I heard you had reviewed Hard Ticket! The sex-doll, skateboard, bazooka scene is so memorable. Although so are, man shoots at snake 20 feet away in terror and also the fact that the one guy takes a ninja star to the heart and it doesn’t phase him the rest of the movie. Been forever since I’ve seen it and I still remember those outrageous scenes. Actually just picked up all Girls, Guns and G-Strings off amazon a while back. I’d only scene the first 3 and plan to watch the rest over the summer. Great to see you cover the lesser known movies. Reply Mike April 10, 2012 @ 5:02 pm I appreciate you reading the review. You’ll enjoy the Girls, Guns and G-Strings DVD’s as they’re a ton of fun and at a price you can’t beat. Reply
Rushed over as soon as I heard you had reviewed Hard Ticket! The sex-doll, skateboard, bazooka scene is so memorable. Although so are, man shoots at snake 20 feet away in terror and also the fact that the one guy takes a ninja star to the heart and it doesn’t phase him the rest of the movie.
Been forever since I’ve seen it and I still remember those outrageous scenes. Actually just picked up all Girls, Guns and G-Strings off amazon a while back. I’d only scene the first 3 and plan to watch the rest over the summer. Great to see you cover the lesser known movies.
Mike April 10, 2012 @ 5:02 pm I appreciate you reading the review. You’ll enjoy the Girls, Guns and G-Strings DVD’s as they’re a ton of fun and at a price you can’t beat. Reply
I appreciate you reading the review. You’ll enjoy the Girls, Guns and G-Strings DVD’s as they’re a ton of fun and at a price you can’t beat.
sdmfcrazyhorse May 15, 2012 @ 12:44 am Hard ticket to Hawaii is one of my all time favourite movies! I love the theme song! This movie is Defos my feel good film. Watched every sidaris movie own both the girls guns and g strings set plus the rare region 2 German release that includes all special features including the sidaris film school episodes! And obviously I have Andys book! Love it shame on you fir giving it 5/10 lol still it’s better than most reviews ha ha ha love your site btw there’s a lot if movies I don’t see hear that fit the website title but I will save that for another post! Reply Mike May 15, 2012 @ 4:47 am Thanks for the great comments. I too own all of Andy’s films and will eventually review them over time. The blog only went up this year in early February so I have a ways to go in terms of content but have a huge list of films I plan on covering. If you have review suggestions feel free to leave them here. Reply sdmfcrazyhorse May 15, 2012 @ 10:59 am Here’s a mixed up list of what I can think of off the top of my head. They all come under the banner and sometimes under all 3! I’m sure you know a bunch of these. On another note I have never seen Ricky oh I just got it off amazon so thanks for the review! Hard bodies Bikini car wash company Fraternity vacation The cheerleaders Russ Meyer movies Slumber party massacre ( bodycount too) Sorority babes in slim ball bowlarama Bikini hotel Dinosaur valley girls Erotic rites of countess Dracula Mummy’s kiss Bitch slap ( badasses too) Death stalker ( badasses too) The warrior and the sorceress (badasses) Ski school Private resort Various hammer movies the Bronx warriors They live Showdown in little Tokyo Hell goes to frogtown Reform school girls Troma/ loyd kaufman movies Hardware Elvira Trick or treat Shock em dead Black roses Rock and roll nightmare Many crown international movies Lemon Popsicle Movies 2001 maniacs Demoni Mike May 15, 2012 @ 12:43 pm What a great list. I own about half of these and actually just watched Elvira a few nights ago. I however do not own any Russ Meyer films (I’ve seen a few) for some reason and should look into buying some. sdmfcrazyhorse May 15, 2012 @ 1:40 pm Russ Meyer is like my all time favourite director! I could actually write essays on his movies! You definatetly check them out again! Mike May 15, 2012 @ 3:03 pm I certainly will. If you’re an Andy Sidaris fan, you’ll be happy to know I have something big planned for the month of June. Stay tuned! sdmfcrazyhorse May 15, 2012 @ 5:06 pm Huge Andy sidaris fan. I actually got here from Arlenes newsletter she’s a great a woman and very kind to fans. I very much look forward to what you have planned!!!!!!
Hard ticket to Hawaii is one of my all time favourite movies! I love the theme song! This movie is Defos my feel good film. Watched every sidaris movie own both the girls guns and g strings set plus the rare region 2 German release that includes all special features including the sidaris film school episodes! And obviously I have Andys book! Love it shame on you fir giving it 5/10 lol still it’s better than most reviews ha ha ha love your site btw there’s a lot if movies I don’t see hear that fit the website title but I will save that for another post!
Mike May 15, 2012 @ 4:47 am Thanks for the great comments. I too own all of Andy’s films and will eventually review them over time. The blog only went up this year in early February so I have a ways to go in terms of content but have a huge list of films I plan on covering. If you have review suggestions feel free to leave them here. Reply sdmfcrazyhorse May 15, 2012 @ 10:59 am Here’s a mixed up list of what I can think of off the top of my head. They all come under the banner and sometimes under all 3! I’m sure you know a bunch of these. On another note I have never seen Ricky oh I just got it off amazon so thanks for the review! Hard bodies Bikini car wash company Fraternity vacation The cheerleaders Russ Meyer movies Slumber party massacre ( bodycount too) Sorority babes in slim ball bowlarama Bikini hotel Dinosaur valley girls Erotic rites of countess Dracula Mummy’s kiss Bitch slap ( badasses too) Death stalker ( badasses too) The warrior and the sorceress (badasses) Ski school Private resort Various hammer movies the Bronx warriors They live Showdown in little Tokyo Hell goes to frogtown Reform school girls Troma/ loyd kaufman movies Hardware Elvira Trick or treat Shock em dead Black roses Rock and roll nightmare Many crown international movies Lemon Popsicle Movies 2001 maniacs Demoni Mike May 15, 2012 @ 12:43 pm What a great list. I own about half of these and actually just watched Elvira a few nights ago. I however do not own any Russ Meyer films (I’ve seen a few) for some reason and should look into buying some. sdmfcrazyhorse May 15, 2012 @ 1:40 pm Russ Meyer is like my all time favourite director! I could actually write essays on his movies! You definatetly check them out again! Mike May 15, 2012 @ 3:03 pm I certainly will. If you’re an Andy Sidaris fan, you’ll be happy to know I have something big planned for the month of June. Stay tuned! sdmfcrazyhorse May 15, 2012 @ 5:06 pm Huge Andy sidaris fan. I actually got here from Arlenes newsletter she’s a great a woman and very kind to fans. I very much look forward to what you have planned!!!!!!
Thanks for the great comments. I too own all of Andy’s films and will eventually review them over time. The blog only went up this year in early February so I have a ways to go in terms of content but have a huge list of films I plan on covering. If you have review suggestions feel free to leave them here.
sdmfcrazyhorse May 15, 2012 @ 10:59 am Here’s a mixed up list of what I can think of off the top of my head. They all come under the banner and sometimes under all 3! I’m sure you know a bunch of these. On another note I have never seen Ricky oh I just got it off amazon so thanks for the review! Hard bodies Bikini car wash company Fraternity vacation The cheerleaders Russ Meyer movies Slumber party massacre ( bodycount too) Sorority babes in slim ball bowlarama Bikini hotel Dinosaur valley girls Erotic rites of countess Dracula Mummy’s kiss Bitch slap ( badasses too) Death stalker ( badasses too) The warrior and the sorceress (badasses) Ski school Private resort Various hammer movies the Bronx warriors They live Showdown in little Tokyo Hell goes to frogtown Reform school girls Troma/ loyd kaufman movies Hardware Elvira Trick or treat Shock em dead Black roses Rock and roll nightmare Many crown international movies Lemon Popsicle Movies 2001 maniacs Demoni
Here’s a mixed up list of what I can think of off the top of my head. They all come under the banner and sometimes under all 3! I’m sure you know a bunch of these. On another note I have never seen Ricky oh I just got it off amazon so thanks for the review!
Hard bodies Bikini car wash company Fraternity vacation The cheerleaders Russ Meyer movies Slumber party massacre ( bodycount too) Sorority babes in slim ball bowlarama Bikini hotel Dinosaur valley girls Erotic rites of countess Dracula Mummy’s kiss Bitch slap ( badasses too) Death stalker ( badasses too) The warrior and the sorceress (badasses) Ski school Private resort Various hammer movies the Bronx warriors They live Showdown in little Tokyo Hell goes to frogtown Reform school girls Troma/ loyd kaufman movies Hardware Elvira Trick or treat Shock em dead Black roses Rock and roll nightmare Many crown international movies Lemon Popsicle Movies 2001 maniacs Demoni
Mike May 15, 2012 @ 12:43 pm What a great list. I own about half of these and actually just watched Elvira a few nights ago. I however do not own any Russ Meyer films (I’ve seen a few) for some reason and should look into buying some.
What a great list. I own about half of these and actually just watched Elvira a few nights ago. I however do not own any Russ Meyer films (I’ve seen a few) for some reason and should look into buying some.
sdmfcrazyhorse May 15, 2012 @ 1:40 pm Russ Meyer is like my all time favourite director! I could actually write essays on his movies! You definatetly check them out again!
Russ Meyer is like my all time favourite director! I could actually write essays on his movies! You definatetly check them out again!
Mike May 15, 2012 @ 3:03 pm I certainly will. If you’re an Andy Sidaris fan, you’ll be happy to know I have something big planned for the month of June. Stay tuned!
I certainly will. If you’re an Andy Sidaris fan, you’ll be happy to know I have something big planned for the month of June. Stay tuned!
sdmfcrazyhorse May 15, 2012 @ 5:06 pm Huge Andy sidaris fan. I actually got here from Arlenes newsletter she’s a great a woman and very kind to fans. I very much look forward to what you have planned!!!!!!
Huge Andy sidaris fan. I actually got here from Arlenes newsletter she’s a great a woman and very kind to fans. I very much look forward to what you have planned!!!!!!
Brian September 18, 2012 @ 11:53 am Possibly the most entertaining movie of 1987. Or maybe any year. Reply
Possibly the most entertaining movie of 1987. Or maybe any year.
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