Badasses, Boobs and Body Counts
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The Plot: Troll 2 begins with the Wait family agreeing to vacation in the town of Nilbog in order to switch places with another family living there. Dad (George Hardy) wants the kids to experience an alternative small-town lifestyle by living in a remote farming community for a short time. The night before they leave, Grandpa Seth (Robert Ormsby), forewarns Joshua (Michael Stephenson) about what might happen if they travel to the small town. Problem is, Grandpa Seth has been dead for 6-months now. Joshua’s sister, Holly (Connie Young) gets a visit from her boyfriend, Elliot (Jason Write) and the two argue about his dedication to her vs. his dedication to his friends. He decides to travel with the Waits to show Holly his dedication to her.
The following day, the family leaves without Elliot as he never shows up. He does however follow in-tow showing up sometime later. After arriving in Nilbog, the Waits sit down for a meal provided by the townsfolk. Prior to eating though, Joshua unzips his pants and urinates all over the food soiling it for the family. He claims the food will turn the family into goblins and that everyone around them are goblins in disguise.
Later on, Elliot and his friends run into trouble in the woods. As Arnold is having a smoke he runs into a girl running from a pack goblins. Arnold attempts to save her but is captured and turned into a human/plant hybrid of sorts. It seems that this is what the goblins are doing in order to survive in Nilbog. After a few more run-ins with the goblins and his dead grandfather, Joshua puts a plan together to rid Nilbog of the pesky goblins once and for all, thus saving the family from sure doom.
The Takeaway: May I please have my 94 minutes back, no, really… I’m going to keep this short and not so sweet. From a filmmaking point of view Troll 2 fails on every level there is. This failure comes from a host of issues which include terrible performances, make-up effects, costumes, editing, pacing and direction. The ending is also quite terrible and will have you stabbing your own face with your eyeballs. I mean c’mon, a bologna sandwich?
Film Facts: Troll 2 was directed by Cladio Fragasso, written by Rossella Drudi shot by Giancario Ferrando and edited by Vania Amici. And shame on all of them for this pile of scat. Originally titled Goblins, distributors changed the name of the film in an attempt to capture an earlier audience from the somewhat successful 1986 film, Troll (the two films have nothing in common). This is the reason for not seeing “one” single “troll” in Troll 2 . Troll 2 did see a very limited theatrical run and was considered a box-off failure immediately.
Cladio Fragasso (credited as Drake Floyd) had a long line of bad films prior to directing Troll 2 . Films such as Hell of the Living Dead (1980), Rats: Night of Terror (1984), Monster Dog (1984) and Zombie 3 (1988) to name a few, all of which hover in the 4.0 rating range on the IMDB. Surprisingly enough, director/producer Joe D’Amato produced Troll 2 . Yet even D’Amato wasn’t able to save Troll 2 from becoming what is now known as, the “best worst movie” ever (and no, I don’t subscribe to this).
Thoughts In My Head: – Joshua sweats too much – Who in their right mind vacations in a strangers house – “I’m going outside for a breath of fresh air” as he takes his cigarettes with him – That’s it, walk right into the lions den – Holly couldn’t dance to save her life – This is a terrible movie – You should never take food from a stranger – Bright yellow and pink clothes don’t look good on guys – OK, the Waits are seriously retarded – 48-minute mark. Sure seems like the 2-hour mark – 68-minute mark. Oh my, 26-minutes left – Seducing a teenager with an ear of corn doesn’t really work, does it – My 5-year old boy just sighed with boredom – 15-minutes left – I’m never going to watch this film again
Favorite Badass or Badass Moment: Sorry kids, no badasses in this one Favorite Boobs or Boobs in a Scene: Sorry kids, no boobs in this one Favorite Death Scene: It doesn’t matter
Boob Count: 0 pair Body Count: 1
IMDB Rating: 2.4 / 10 My Rating: 1.5 / 10
Final Thoughts: Troll 2 is a terribly inept film and honestly, I don’t feel it worth my time to go in-depth as to why it’s such a bad film. I will tell you that there is a documentary titled Best Worst Movie (2009) and it lends insight as to why the movie turned out so bad and why it has a small cult following. The documentary is far more interesting than the film itself. And oh, don’t let the 2.4 rating on the IMDB fool you, it’s much worse than what the cult followers are rating it.
Marisa on May 21, 2012 at 3:57 pm said: I *just* watched Best Worst Movie on Netflix the other day and loved it. I had no idea this was such a cult fave! Now I MUST see it. If I can last through it, that is. Thanks for taking one for the team, Mike. Reply Mike on May 21, 2012 at 4:23 pm said: Make sure to watch it in the morning when you’re awake. Or at least under the influence of some strong coffee :-) Reply Marisa on May 21, 2012 at 5:38 pm said: HA! Will do!
I *just* watched Best Worst Movie on Netflix the other day and loved it. I had no idea this was such a cult fave! Now I MUST see it. If I can last through it, that is. Thanks for taking one for the team, Mike.
Mike on May 21, 2012 at 4:23 pm said: Make sure to watch it in the morning when you’re awake. Or at least under the influence of some strong coffee :-) Reply Marisa on May 21, 2012 at 5:38 pm said: HA! Will do!
Make sure to watch it in the morning when you’re awake. Or at least under the influence of some strong coffee :-)
Marisa on May 21, 2012 at 5:38 pm said: HA! Will do!
HA! Will do!
Wednesday's Child on May 22, 2012 at 7:17 am said: “Yet even D’Amato wasn’t able to save Troll 2 from becoming what is now known as, the “best worst movie” ever (and no, I don’t subscribe to this).” Preach! There are a lot better, should I say more watchable, good bad movies lurking out there, including Zombi 3. I’m impressed that you could even finish watching Troll 2. Reply Mike on May 22, 2012 at 12:16 pm said: I agree 100%. The 3 films I mention or somewhat compare, Hell of the Living Dead, Rats and Zombie 3 are all better than Troll 2, for sure (I actually own all 3 on DVD). And for the review, I sat through Troll 2 twice , LOL. Reply Wednesday's Child on May 22, 2012 at 1:12 pm said: Talk about suffering for your art! Mike on May 22, 2012 at 1:29 pm said: That I did with this one. Thanks for the comments.
“Yet even D’Amato wasn’t able to save Troll 2 from becoming what is now known as, the “best worst movie” ever (and no, I don’t subscribe to this).”
Preach! There are a lot better, should I say more watchable, good bad movies lurking out there, including Zombi 3. I’m impressed that you could even finish watching Troll 2.
Mike on May 22, 2012 at 12:16 pm said: I agree 100%. The 3 films I mention or somewhat compare, Hell of the Living Dead, Rats and Zombie 3 are all better than Troll 2, for sure (I actually own all 3 on DVD). And for the review, I sat through Troll 2 twice , LOL. Reply Wednesday's Child on May 22, 2012 at 1:12 pm said: Talk about suffering for your art! Mike on May 22, 2012 at 1:29 pm said: That I did with this one. Thanks for the comments.
I agree 100%. The 3 films I mention or somewhat compare, Hell of the Living Dead, Rats and Zombie 3 are all better than Troll 2, for sure (I actually own all 3 on DVD). And for the review, I sat through Troll 2 twice , LOL.
Wednesday's Child on May 22, 2012 at 1:12 pm said: Talk about suffering for your art!
Talk about suffering for your art!
Mike on May 22, 2012 at 1:29 pm said: That I did with this one. Thanks for the comments.
That I did with this one. Thanks for the comments.
James on May 23, 2012 at 2:20 pm said: You sat through this twice? Good man! I love a movie that has no connection to its title, but I’m not sure if I have the guts for this one. Well done for seeing it through. Reply Mike on May 23, 2012 at 2:59 pm said: Twice, but never again :-) Reply
You sat through this twice? Good man! I love a movie that has no connection to its title, but I’m not sure if I have the guts for this one. Well done for seeing it through.
Mike on May 23, 2012 at 2:59 pm said: Twice, but never again :-) Reply
Twice, but never again :-)
kenyon on May 27, 2012 at 10:04 am said: ooo i just posted my review of T2 and cannibal ferox is on my must see! -kenyon Reply Mike on May 27, 2012 at 11:07 am said: Thanks for commenting. Read your review as well, nice job. And if you haven’t seen Cannibal Ferox I suggest you do if you love Italian horror. Reply
ooo i just posted my review of T2 and cannibal ferox is on my must see! -kenyon
Mike on May 27, 2012 at 11:07 am said: Thanks for commenting. Read your review as well, nice job. And if you haven’t seen Cannibal Ferox I suggest you do if you love Italian horror. Reply
Thanks for commenting. Read your review as well, nice job. And if you haven’t seen Cannibal Ferox I suggest you do if you love Italian horror.
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Recent Posts EP134 – Hideout in the Sun EP133 – Skinner EP132 – They Call Her One Eye EP131 – The Devil Within Her EP130 – Louisiana Hussy EP129 – Zombeavers EP128 – Mamorial Day Special EP127 – WolfCop EP126 – Taeter City EP125 – Deathstalker EP124 – Chatterbox EP123 – House of Whipcord EP122 – Cry of a Prostitute EP121 – Incident at Loch Ness EP120 – Day of the Warrior EP119 – Tarzan, The Ape Man EP118 – Bigfootery EP117 – Firecracker EP116 – Zero Woman Red Handcuffs EP115 – Butterfly and Sword EPB1 – Top and Bottom 5 of 2014 EP114 – Nekromantik EP113 – Stripped to Kill EP112 – Raw Force EP111 – Kung Fu Rascals EP110 – Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama EP109 – Dreamaniac BBandBC EP108 – Nightmare Sisters BBandBC EP107 – Bigfoot vs D.B. Cooper BBandBC EP106 – Creepozoids
EP134 – Hideout in the Sun
EP133 – Skinner
EP132 – They Call Her One Eye
EP131 – The Devil Within Her
EP130 – Louisiana Hussy
EP129 – Zombeavers
EP128 – Mamorial Day Special
EP127 – WolfCop
EP126 – Taeter City
EP125 – Deathstalker
EP124 – Chatterbox
EP123 – House of Whipcord
EP122 – Cry of a Prostitute
EP121 – Incident at Loch Ness
EP120 – Day of the Warrior
EP119 – Tarzan, The Ape Man
EP118 – Bigfootery
EP117 – Firecracker
EP116 – Zero Woman Red Handcuffs
EP115 – Butterfly and Sword
EPB1 – Top and Bottom 5 of 2014
EP114 – Nekromantik
EP113 – Stripped to Kill
EP112 – Raw Force
EP111 – Kung Fu Rascals
EP110 – Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama
EP109 – Dreamaniac
BBandBC EP108 – Nightmare Sisters
BBandBC EP107 – Bigfoot vs D.B. Cooper
BBandBC EP106 – Creepozoids
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