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The Plot: Hard Hunted begins in the Hawaiian islands when Kane (Geoffrey Moore) receives a small Buddha-shaped jade figurine while on his boat. He tells his sexy female companions, Silk (Carolyn Liu) and Mika (Mika Quintard), that the figurine is the worlds most valuable object and that it will make him a very powerful man. Once the figurine is locked away in a safe place (in the boats safe), Mika slips a sleeping agent into Kane’s drink and then proceeds to steal the figurine removing it from the boat.
Meanwhile in another part of the islands, we’re introduced to Ava (Ava Cadell) who works as a DJ at KSXY radio (in a bikini no less). Ava’s so-called partner, Edy (Cynthia Brimhall), works at the adjoined club as a singer/dancer but also has a tie-in with KSXY radio as she freely comes and goes from the radio station. It’s here we learn that Ava and Edy are Federal Agents who use the radio station to communicate messages to other operatives via the airwaves.
Next we’re introduced to Lucas (Tony Peck) who manages the team of L.E.T.H.A.L. from the Pentagon (this is the agency the girls belong to). We’re told that the jade figurine stolen from Kane actually contains a deadly nuclear weapon trigger known as a ‘claistron relay’ and if acquired by Kane, it would complete a nuclear weapon that Kane is having built. This of course would mean certain doom and the girls aren’t going to let that happen.
The Takeaway: God bless Andy Sidaris. I knew from the moment I started Hard Hunted that I was in for a good time and that I wasn’t going to have to worry about high production values. Right off the bat we get Cynthia Brimhall as Edy doing her lounge act in a skin tight outfit (with boobs nearly bursting out). Then we meet Ava (played by the stunningly beautiful Ava Cadell) whom works as a DJ in a bikini (I mean this woman might as well have been naked). Then there’s the office assistant who fetches coffee in a skin tight red-leather bikini. Had I known that women in radio dressed like this, I would have changed my major to communications real quick.
If dressing for work nearly naked wasn’t enough, then hold on, because later in the film they actually do work naked, well, almost naked. Ava proceeds to do her radio show from a hot tub topless alongside her topless office assistant. It seems that Ava works from wherever she wants wearing whatever she wants. She just totes along that cordless microphone sending coded messages to other agents. And naturally, while the other female agents are supposed to be standing watch for the bad guys, they always end up naked having sex with their male counter-parts. All that being said, does the story or production quality of Hard Hunted really matter? No, it doesn’t. God Bless Andy Sidaris.
Film Facts: Hard Hunted was written and directed by Andy Sidaris and was produced by Arlene Sidaris. The film was distributed by Malibu Bay Films and was released in 1992. At this point in the Andy Sidaris filmography we’re starting to see similar plot lines and faces. Back in Hard Hunted are Donna Speir, Roberta Vasquez, Bruce Penhall, Cynthia Brimhall, Al Leong and Rodrigo Obregon (all whom have appeared in previous Sidaris productions). The only newcomer is Geoffrey Moore, whom replaced Pat Morita as Kane. As a performer, Geoffrey Moore is lackluster to say the least and as I stated below “Kane is the single least threatening bad guy in cinematic history (even worse than Erik Estrada)”. As an actor, Geoffrey Moore only appeared in one other film after he appeared in Hard Hunted , and that’s Andy Sidaris’ Fit to Kill (1993).
You can find out more about Andy Sidaris and his films at the Andy Sidaris Website run by his beautiful wife, Arlene Sidaris. You can also visit my review of Hard Ticket To Hawaii to learn a little more about Andy Sidaris.
Thoughts In My Head: - That’s it, tease us with lesbian sex - Edy, you can’t sing worth a shit, seriously… But you look fantastic! - I really want to work at KSXY radio - Al Leong’s fumanchu is amazing - Cole (Buzzy Kerbox) couldn’t act his way out of a paper bag - BOOM MIC! - Pico’s pirate patch is so awesome - Sexy time with Edy - This jade Buddha must be terribly important - OK, now the KSXY disc jockey’s are working topless, YES… - Ava Cadell’s boobs are glorious - Kane is the single least threatening bad guy in cinematic history (even worse than Erik Estrada) - More sexy time with Edy - While we’re waiting for the bad guys, lets have sex - More sex on the beach with Donna - The more films Dona Speir does with Andy, the less she gets naked, for shame… - There’s a million people on this VERY SMALL ISLAND yet no one can find Donna - As a L.E.T.H.A.L. lady, Silk is completely worthless
Favorite Badass or Badass Moment: Al Leong for playing the part of Raven Favorite Boobs or Boobs in a Scene: Ava, what an amazing rack! Favorite Death Scene: Cole’s death. Nothing beats a machete through the chest, right Jason?
Boob Count: 10 pair Body Count: 14
IMDB Rating: 2.6 / 10 My Rating: 4.0 / 10
Final Thoughts: Hard Hunted is a slightly below average film from Andy Sidaris. There’s a lack of depth to the story and the pacing feels a bit off at times (in other words, slow). These things however can be over-looked with all the half-naked women who at times go to work that way.
Google +1
Great White! http://t.co/NeXr1jZb 21 minutes ago
@ ZonaRube that's a good point, hypothetically speaking, not sure I'd hit that ;-) 24 minutes ago
I think this is the first animated (mainstream) film to show man-ass, lots of it #Brave 27 minutes ago
@ ZonaRube @ Courtney Hmm, can't decide if I would or not. 29 minutes ago
The room has emptied. Apparently I'm the only one interested in #Brave 34 minutes ago
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