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The Plot: The Dallas Connection begins with a series of killings located in different countries around the world. We quickly learn that the men being targeted were to converge with each other at a scientific symposium in Dallas. The ladies doing the killings all have radios in which they communicate back to HQ after each death. And for some reason or another (you find out later), they video record each assassination.
Back in Dallas, a meeting is held at the agency where we learn about International World Arms Removal (IWAR). IWAR is a high-tech satellite project which detects everything from small arms movements, to full-blown weapons of mass destruction. What makes IWAR so different is its ability to see through the most severe weather conditions. We also learn that scientist Antonio Morales (Rodrigo Obregon) is headed to Dallas and needs to be protected as he is the key to getting IWAR online.
Once Morales arrives in Dallas, Agent Samantha Maxx (Samantha Phillips) is assigned to protect him. After her assignment begins, they’re off to watch the horse races and have a nice expensive dinner where Morals fantasizes about Maxx, whom nearly has sex with herself at the dinner table. Shortly after this (once Morales comes out of his daydream), the story begins to unfold and we see that Morales isn’t who he appears to be, so the “almost always naked” Federal Agents have to figure a way to stop Morales.
The Takeaway: I rather enjoyed The Dallas Connection . I can’t exactly put my finger on why I enjoyed it so much, I just know that when the film came to an end, I wrote in my notes ‘I like this film’. It’s not a whole lot different than previous Sidaris productions where half dressed big breasted Federal Agents run around shooting at everything that moves. So that’s not it. Maybe it was how the film ended (which I won’t give away). While most of Sidaris’ films end with the bad guys losing (and this one is no different), I think I was genuinely thrown for a loop in terms of how one particular character was written into the script. I should have seen this coming, but I didn’t, therefore I have to give credit to Christian Drew Sidaris for his writing talent in this particular production.
Film Facts: The Dallas Connection was written and directed by Christian Drew Sidaris (son of Andy Sidaris) and was produced by Andy and Arlene Sidaris. It was distributed by Malibu Bay Films and was released in October of 1994. Christian Drew Sidaris had previously directed Enemy Gold (1993) and played second unit director to all of his fathers previous films. The Dallas Connection stars several former Playboy and Penthouse models including Julie Strain as Black Widow (Penthouse Pet of the month for June of 1991). Samantha Phillips as Samantha Maxx (Penthouse Pet of the month for June of 1993 – also a stunningly beautiful woman). Julie K. Smith as Cobra (Penthouse Pet of the month for February of 1993) and Wendy Hamilton as Scorpion (Playboy Playmate of the month for December of 1991).
You can find out more about Andy Sidaris and his films at the Andy Sidaris Website run by his beautiful wife, Arlene Sidaris. You can also visit my review of Hard Ticket To Hawaii to learn a little more about Andy Sidaris.
Thoughts In My Head: - Nothing like boobs and bondage to start a Sidaris production - Do the Chinese really play golf - Exploding golf balls, oh my… - When I die, I want to cum and go at the same time - I thought all Asians had martial art skills, guess I was wrong - I’ve come to the conclusion that Julie Strain can’t act (but she looks amazing) - Now that the agents have their missions, it’s off to drink and have sex with each other - Is talking on your super-spy radio in ‘open public’ a smart thing to do - A pink wet suit on a man just doesn’t look right - “my mind is a blank” consider the source buddy - LOL, the super-spy radio’s are Sony Walkman’s - “should have read your fortune cookie” says the white man to the Asian (ouch) - Cobra has fabulous boobies
Favorite Badass or Badass Moment: Black Widow, she fucks’em then kills’em Favorite Boobs or Boobs in a Scene: Cobra, she has massive boobs for such a small-framed gal Favorite Death Scene: The RC car/jeep explosion (deadly toys are always a plus)
Boob Count: 13 pair Body Count: 11
IMDB Rating: 4.1 / 10 My Rating: 5.0 / 10
Final Thoughts: Christian Drew Sidaris showed signs of improvement over his last film entry, Enemy Gold (1993). The Dallas Connection is slightly better in terms of production, pace and story, therefore making it a slightly more enjoyable film. One I can say I’ll revisit at a later time.
The Plot: Day of the Warrior begins when Tiger (Shae Marks) discovers someone has hacked into the L.E.T.H.A.L. (Legion to Ensure Total Harmony and Law) computer database to steal a list of all the Agency’s top undercover agents. Tiger quickly makes her way to Willow Black’s office (Julie Strain) to inform the boss-lady of what just happened.
After Tiger and Black’s meeting, we’re taken elsewhere and introduced to a powerful criminal named “Warrior” (Marcus Bagwell). It seems that Warrior is into all sorts of criminal activities such as stolen diamonds, jewelry, terribly bad looking gold Mayan art pieces and the illegal practices of pirated pornography. Mildly put, he’s an all-around bad guy who is feared by all who meet him. He also dresses like a Native-American Indian wrestler.
Now that the undercover Federal Agents identities are at risk, Tiger and Black hit the road in an attempt to save Cobra (Julie K. Smith), Shark (Darren Wise) and Scorpion (Tammy Parks) before the Warrior gets to them himself. Will the war painted, greased up, steroid induced, Warrior kill the agents? Or will the L.E.T.H.A.L. ladies prevail once again?
The Takeaway: Let me get the bad out of the way so I can close this section of the review on a positive note. Day of the Warrior is a film that covers a lot of ground in a short amount of time. The multiple plot-lines and subtext are difficult to follow since the film jumps from scene to scene so often. This hurts the film on many different levels as the viewer isn’t able to attached themselves to any of the characters and is often times left wondering what just happened and why. As for me, this lead me to lose focus quickly and to look at how much time was left in the film quite frequently (not a good thing).
On the up-side of things, there are plenty of gorgeous women in the film who all get naked or topless at one point or another. In fact, I’d say that Day of the Warrior manages to have the best looking line-up in any Andy Sidaris film in terms of beautiful buxom women. This is quite the achievement considering the line-up Sidaris puts in front of us in his earlier films. Another note-worthy mention are the actors portraying the hit-men. Both Richard Cansino (J.P.) and Cassidy Phillips (Chaz) are hilarious and have excellent chemistry when on-screen together. Well done gentlemen.
Film Facts: Day of the Warrior was written and directed by Andy Sidaris and was produced by Arlene Sidaris. The film was distributed by Malibu Bay Films and was released in 1996. Day of the Warrior put Andy Sidaris back in the directors chair after a 3-year layoff. Sidaris cast former pro-wrestler Marcus Bagwell (aka Buff Bagwell) as the lead villain. Bagwell is best known for his World Championship Wrestling between the years 1991 and 2001, where he was World Tag Team Champion 5 times running. New to the Andy Sidaris line-up was Julie K. Smith. Smith appeared in a few minor roles prior to Day of the Warrior and became a staple of the soft-core porn industry in the late 90s. Shae Marks was Playboy Playmate of the Month for May 1994 (look her up guys, she’s a stunning beauty). Raye Hollitt was a female body builder and is best known for her stint on the TV show American Gladiators 1989 – 1996 (you may know Hollitt by her stage name, ZAP).
Thoughts In My Head: - I really want to work in this Federal office - This is the breast Andy Sidaris film yet - The Warrior has amazing hair - Tiger is super HOT! - The two worthless hit-men are pure gold in my book - Never cast a short male Asian actor next to a 6’1 amazonian Julie Strain - Zebra skin leggings, haha, awesome - This plot is terribly convoluted - The Warrior is a terrible villain - Why is Cobra in the shower with a bikini on - One hour in and no plot devises are paying off yet - Is Kym a man - Yuck, Kym and the Warrior are making love. I can’t tell who the man is - Jordon’s Aussie accent is horrible - You guys didn’t SEE or HEAR that back-hoe coming a mile away - The Warrior is really greasy - 20 minutes left… - Rewinds DVD to see Tiger naked again - This wrestling match is literally ridiculous - This is the longest gun-fight ever - 6 minutes left
Favorite Badass or Badass Moment: The Warrior, his appearance is so ridiculous, its badass Favorite Boobs or Boobs in a Scene: Tiger, wow what a set this woman has! Favorite Death Scene: None, honestly, nothing really stands out
Boob Count: 11 pair Body Count: 11
IMDB Rating: 2.5 / 10 My Rating: 3.0 / 10
Final Thoughts: Day of the Warrior does have its moments, however, it’s slow pace and confusing story may not be worth all the beautiful nude women Andy Sidaris includes throughout the run of the film.
Next Episode 12/17
Podcast Listening Portals Follow BB&BCs via Email Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. Join 932 other followers Like us on Facebook! Recent Posts BBandBC Podcast EP61 – Nude Nuns With Big Guns BBandBC Podcast EP60 – The Magnificent Butcher New BBandBC Capsule Reviews Web Site BBandBC Podcast EP59 – Even Dwarfs Started Small BBandBC Podcast EP58 – Bloodsucking Freaks BBandBC Podcast EP57 – The Sinful Dwarf BBandBC Podcast EP56 – The Terror of Tiny Town BBandBC Podcast EP55 – A Fallen Angel at the Manchester Morgue BBandBC Podcast EP54 – Willard BBandBC Podcast EP53 – Cannibal Holocaust BBandBC Podcast EP52 – The Big Doll House BBandBC Podcast EP51 – The Vanity Double Feature BBandBC Podcast EP50 – Attack of the Gorilla Beast BBandBC Podcast EP49 – Visitor Q BBandBC Podcast EP48 – The Spook Who Sat by the Door BBandBC Podcast EP47 – The Deadly Weapons of Agent 73 BBandBC Podcast EP46 – Bio Zombie BBandBC Podcast EP45 – Happy Birthday To Me BBandBC Podcast EP44 – Logan’s Run BBandBC Podcast EP43 – Scream Queen Hot Tub Party BBandBC Podcast EP42 – The Ghost and Mr. Chicken BBandBC Podcast EP41 – The Black Godfather BBandBC Podcast EP40 – Meet The Feebles BBandBC Podcast EP39 – Tenebre BBandBC Podcast EP38 – The Milpitas Monster BBandBC Podcast EP37 – Batman: The Movie BBandBC Podcast EP36 – Sharky’s Machine BBandBC Podcast EP35 – Humanoids From the Deep BBandBC Podcast EP34 – The Funhouse BBandBC Podcast EP33 – The Beyond Blog at WordPress.com . The Parament Theme . Follow Follow “Badasses, Boobs and Body Counts” Get every new post delivered to your Inbox. Join 932 other followers Powered by WordPress.com Send to Email Address Your Name Your Email Address Cancel Post was not sent - check your email addresses! Email check failed, please try again Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email. %d bloggers like this:
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Recent Posts BBandBC Podcast EP61 – Nude Nuns With Big Guns BBandBC Podcast EP60 – The Magnificent Butcher New BBandBC Capsule Reviews Web Site BBandBC Podcast EP59 – Even Dwarfs Started Small BBandBC Podcast EP58 – Bloodsucking Freaks BBandBC Podcast EP57 – The Sinful Dwarf BBandBC Podcast EP56 – The Terror of Tiny Town BBandBC Podcast EP55 – A Fallen Angel at the Manchester Morgue BBandBC Podcast EP54 – Willard BBandBC Podcast EP53 – Cannibal Holocaust BBandBC Podcast EP52 – The Big Doll House BBandBC Podcast EP51 – The Vanity Double Feature BBandBC Podcast EP50 – Attack of the Gorilla Beast BBandBC Podcast EP49 – Visitor Q BBandBC Podcast EP48 – The Spook Who Sat by the Door BBandBC Podcast EP47 – The Deadly Weapons of Agent 73 BBandBC Podcast EP46 – Bio Zombie BBandBC Podcast EP45 – Happy Birthday To Me BBandBC Podcast EP44 – Logan’s Run BBandBC Podcast EP43 – Scream Queen Hot Tub Party BBandBC Podcast EP42 – The Ghost and Mr. Chicken BBandBC Podcast EP41 – The Black Godfather BBandBC Podcast EP40 – Meet The Feebles BBandBC Podcast EP39 – Tenebre BBandBC Podcast EP38 – The Milpitas Monster BBandBC Podcast EP37 – Batman: The Movie BBandBC Podcast EP36 – Sharky’s Machine BBandBC Podcast EP35 – Humanoids From the Deep BBandBC Podcast EP34 – The Funhouse BBandBC Podcast EP33 – The Beyond
BBandBC Podcast EP61 – Nude Nuns With Big Guns
BBandBC Podcast EP60 – The Magnificent Butcher
New BBandBC Capsule Reviews Web Site
BBandBC Podcast EP59 – Even Dwarfs Started Small
BBandBC Podcast EP58 – Bloodsucking Freaks
BBandBC Podcast EP57 – The Sinful Dwarf
BBandBC Podcast EP56 – The Terror of Tiny Town
BBandBC Podcast EP55 – A Fallen Angel at the Manchester Morgue
BBandBC Podcast EP54 – Willard
BBandBC Podcast EP53 – Cannibal Holocaust
BBandBC Podcast EP52 – The Big Doll House
BBandBC Podcast EP51 – The Vanity Double Feature
BBandBC Podcast EP50 – Attack of the Gorilla Beast
BBandBC Podcast EP49 – Visitor Q
BBandBC Podcast EP48 – The Spook Who Sat by the Door
BBandBC Podcast EP47 – The Deadly Weapons of Agent 73
BBandBC Podcast EP46 – Bio Zombie
BBandBC Podcast EP45 – Happy Birthday To Me
BBandBC Podcast EP44 – Logan’s Run
BBandBC Podcast EP43 – Scream Queen Hot Tub Party
BBandBC Podcast EP42 – The Ghost and Mr. Chicken
BBandBC Podcast EP41 – The Black Godfather
BBandBC Podcast EP40 – Meet The Feebles
BBandBC Podcast EP39 – Tenebre
BBandBC Podcast EP38 – The Milpitas Monster
BBandBC Podcast EP37 – Batman: The Movie
BBandBC Podcast EP36 – Sharky’s Machine
BBandBC Podcast EP35 – Humanoids From the Deep
BBandBC Podcast EP34 – The Funhouse
BBandBC Podcast EP33 – The Beyond
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