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The Plot: Day of the Warrior begins when Tiger (Shae Marks) discovers someone has hacked into the L.E.T.H.A.L. (Legion to Ensure Total Harmony and Law) computer database to steal a list of all the Agency’s top undercover agents. Tiger quickly makes her way to Willow Black’s office (Julie Strain) to inform the boss-lady of what just happened.
After Tiger and Black’s meeting, we’re taken elsewhere and introduced to a powerful criminal named “Warrior” (Marcus Bagwell). It seems that Warrior is into all sorts of criminal activities such as stolen diamonds, jewelry, terribly bad looking gold Mayan art pieces and the illegal practices of pirated pornography. Mildly put, he’s an all-around bad guy who is feared by all who meet him. He also dresses like a Native-American Indian wrestler.
Now that the undercover Federal Agents identities are at risk, Tiger and Black hit the road in an attempt to save Cobra (Julie K. Smith), Shark (Darren Wise) and Scorpion (Tammy Parks) before the Warrior gets to them himself. Will the war painted, greased up, steroid induced, Warrior kill the agents? Or will the L.E.T.H.A.L. ladies prevail once again?
The Takeaway: Let me get the bad out of the way so I can close this section of the review on a positive note. Day of the Warrior is a film that covers a lot of ground in a short amount of time. The multiple plot-lines and subtext are difficult to follow since the film jumps from scene to scene so often. This hurts the film on many different levels as the viewer isn’t able to attached themselves to any of the characters and is often times left wondering what just happened and why. As for me, this lead me to lose focus quickly and to look at how much time was left in the film quite frequently (not a good thing).
On the up-side of things, there are plenty of gorgeous women in the film who all get naked or topless at one point or another. In fact, I’d say that Day of the Warrior manages to have the best looking line-up in any Andy Sidaris film in terms of beautiful buxom women. This is quite the achievement considering the line-up Sidaris puts in front of us in his earlier films. Another note-worthy mention are the actors portraying the hit-men. Both Richard Cansino (J.P.) and Cassidy Phillips (Chaz) are hilarious and have excellent chemistry when on-screen together. Well done gentlemen.
Film Facts: Day of the Warrior was written and directed by Andy Sidaris and was produced by Arlene Sidaris. The film was distributed by Malibu Bay Films and was released in 1996. Day of the Warrior put Andy Sidaris back in the directors chair after a 3-year layoff. Sidaris cast former pro-wrestler Marcus Bagwell (aka Buff Bagwell) as the lead villain. Bagwell is best known for his World Championship Wrestling between the years 1991 and 2001, where he was World Tag Team Champion 5 times running. New to the Andy Sidaris line-up was Julie K. Smith. Smith appeared in a few minor roles prior to Day of the Warrior and became a staple of the soft-core porn industry in the late 90s. Shae Marks was Playboy Playmate of the Month for May 1994 (look her up guys, she’s a stunning beauty). Raye Hollitt was a female body builder and is best known for her stint on the TV show American Gladiators 1989 – 1996 (you may know Hollitt by her stage name, ZAP).
You can find out more about Andy Sidaris and his films at the Andy Sidaris Website run by his beautiful wife, Arlene Sidaris. You can also visit my review of Hard Ticket To Hawaii to learn a little more about Andy Sidaris.
Thoughts In My Head: - I really want to work in this Federal office - This is the breast Andy Sidaris film yet - The Warrior has amazing hair - Tiger is super HOT! - The two worthless hit-men are pure gold in my book - Never cast a short male Asian actor next to a 6’1 amazonian Julie Strain - Zebra skin leggings, haha, awesome - This plot is terribly convoluted - The Warrior is a terrible villain - Why is Cobra in the shower with a bikini on - One hour in and no plot devises are paying off yet - Is Kym a man - Yuck, Kym and the Warrior are making love. I can’t tell who the man is - Jordon’s Aussie accent is horrible - You guys didn’t SEE or HEAR that back-hoe coming a mile away - The Warrior is really greasy - 20 minutes left… - Rewinds DVD to see Tiger naked again - This wrestling match is literally ridiculous - This is the longest gun-fight ever - 6 minutes left
Favorite Badass or Badass Moment: The Warrior, his appearance is so ridiculous, its badass Favorite Boobs or Boobs in a Scene: Tiger, wow what a set this woman has! Favorite Death Scene: None, honestly, nothing really stands out
Boob Count: 11 pair Body Count: 11
IMDB Rating: 2.5 / 10 My Rating: 3.0 / 10
Final Thoughts: Day of the Warrior does have its moments, however, it’s slow pace and confusing story may not be worth all the beautiful nude women Andy Sidaris includes throughout the run of the film.
The Plot: Hard Hunted begins in the Hawaiian islands when Kane (Geoffrey Moore) receives a small Buddha-shaped jade figurine while on his boat. He tells his sexy female companions, Silk (Carolyn Liu) and Mika (Mika Quintard), that the figurine is the worlds most valuable object and that it will make him a very powerful man. Once the figurine is locked away in a safe place (in the boats safe), Mika slips a sleeping agent into Kane’s drink and then proceeds to steal the figurine removing it from the boat.
Meanwhile in another part of the islands, we’re introduced to Ava (Ava Cadell) who works as a DJ at KSXY radio (in a bikini no less). Ava’s so-called partner, Edy (Cynthia Brimhall), works at the adjoined club as a singer/dancer but also has a tie-in with KSXY radio as she freely comes and goes from the radio station. It’s here we learn that Ava and Edy are Federal Agents who use the radio station to communicate messages to other operatives via the airwaves.
Next we’re introduced to Lucas (Tony Peck) who manages the team of L.E.T.H.A.L. from the Pentagon (this is the agency the girls belong to). We’re told that the jade figurine stolen from Kane actually contains a deadly nuclear weapon trigger known as a ‘claistron relay’ and if acquired by Kane, it would complete a nuclear weapon that Kane is having built. This of course would mean certain doom and the girls aren’t going to let that happen.
The Takeaway: God bless Andy Sidaris. I knew from the moment I started Hard Hunted that I was in for a good time and that I wasn’t going to have to worry about high production values. Right off the bat we get Cynthia Brimhall as Edy doing her lounge act in a skin tight outfit (with boobs nearly bursting out). Then we meet Ava (played by the stunningly beautiful Ava Cadell) whom works as a DJ in a bikini (I mean this woman might as well have been naked). Then there’s the office assistant who fetches coffee in a skin tight red-leather bikini. Had I known that women in radio dressed like this, I would have changed my major to communications real quick.
If dressing for work nearly naked wasn’t enough, then hold on, because later in the film they actually do work naked, well, almost naked. Ava proceeds to do her radio show from a hot tub topless alongside her topless office assistant. It seems that Ava works from wherever she wants wearing whatever she wants. She just totes along that cordless microphone sending coded messages to other agents. And naturally, while the other female agents are supposed to be standing watch for the bad guys, they always end up naked having sex with their male counter-parts. All that being said, does the story or production quality of Hard Hunted really matter? No, it doesn’t. God Bless Andy Sidaris.
Film Facts: Hard Hunted was written and directed by Andy Sidaris and was produced by Arlene Sidaris. The film was distributed by Malibu Bay Films and was released in 1992. At this point in the Andy Sidaris filmography we’re starting to see similar plot lines and faces. Back in Hard Hunted are Donna Speir, Roberta Vasquez, Bruce Penhall, Cynthia Brimhall, Al Leong and Rodrigo Obregon (all whom have appeared in previous Sidaris productions). The only newcomer is Geoffrey Moore, whom replaced Pat Morita as Kane. As a performer, Geoffrey Moore is lackluster to say the least and as I stated below “Kane is the single least threatening bad guy in cinematic history (even worse than Erik Estrada)”. As an actor, Geoffrey Moore only appeared in one other film after he appeared in Hard Hunted , and that’s Andy Sidaris’ Fit to Kill (1993).
Thoughts In My Head: - That’s it, tease us with lesbian sex - Edy, you can’t sing worth a shit, seriously… But you look fantastic! - I really want to work at KSXY radio - Al Leong’s fumanchu is amazing - Cole (Buzzy Kerbox) couldn’t act his way out of a paper bag - BOOM MIC! - Pico’s pirate patch is so awesome - Sexy time with Edy - This jade Buddha must be terribly important - OK, now the KSXY disc jockey’s are working topless, YES… - Ava Cadell’s boobs are glorious - Kane is the single least threatening bad guy in cinematic history (even worse than Erik Estrada) - More sexy time with Edy - While we’re waiting for the bad guys, lets have sex - More sex on the beach with Donna - The more films Dona Speir does with Andy, the less she gets naked, for shame… - There’s a million people on this VERY SMALL ISLAND yet no one can find Donna - As a L.E.T.H.A.L. lady, Silk is completely worthless
Favorite Badass or Badass Moment: Al Leong for playing the part of Raven Favorite Boobs or Boobs in a Scene: Ava, what an amazing rack! Favorite Death Scene: Cole’s death. Nothing beats a machete through the chest, right Jason?
Boob Count: 10 pair Body Count: 14
IMDB Rating: 2.6 / 10 My Rating: 4.0 / 10
Final Thoughts: Hard Hunted is a slightly below average film from Andy Sidaris. There’s a lack of depth to the story and the pacing feels a bit off at times (in other words, slow). These things however can be over-looked with all the half-naked women who at times go to work that way.
The Plot: Picasso Trigger begins with the assassination of businessman Alejandro Felipe Salazar (John Aprea). Salazar had just shown a painting of a Picasso Triggerfish at a museum in Paris and was killed when leaving. Meanwhile, in Hawaii, Donna (Dona Speir) and Taryn (Hope Marie Carlton) are up for an early morning shower and swim. After their swim, and over-looking the view from the beach, their boat is blown up by a small remote control plane packed with explosives. Elsewhere, Travis Abilene (Steve Bond) receives a phone call and is told about Salazar’s assassination. He doesn’t seem too surprised as Salazar’s past is somewhat shady.
Once all the agency employees are gathered and given their dossier’s, it’s off to catch the bad guy, Miguel Ortiz (Rodrigo Obregon). It seems that Ortiz is laying waste to those responsible for the death of his brother and won’t stop until they’re all eliminated. At this point, Travis partners with Pantera (Roberta Vasquez) whom he shared a past with, so naturally they make great partners. This however doesn’t sit well with Donna because her and Travis seem to be entangled in a relationship as well.
Even though the agency employees have their assignments, catching Ortiz is proving more difficult than the group had thought it would be as he evades death several times. They do however catch up with him and trust me when I say this, he gets what he deserves. This however doesn’t end the mayhem as we find that there’s more to this so-called spy story than meets the eye.
The Takeaway: Like a lot of Andy Sidaris films, Picasso Trigger introduces us to a variety of characters early in the film. In fact, it takes nearly 45-minutes or so before these characters and the sub-plots start to come together. This is par for the course in most Sidaris productions, so I wasn’t overly concerned about the outcome simply because Sidaris always wraps up his stories nicely. What I really enjoyed about Picasso Trigger were the props used to kill the bad guys. You get an RC plane loaded with explosives to explode a boat. An RC car (A Tamiya Grasshopper to be exact) loaded with explosives to flush out the bad guys in Ortiz’s beach-front home. A boomerang loaded with explosives to kill a fast moving thug. And my favorite of the bunch, a crutch disguised as a rocket launcher, that’s right, a rocket launcher. Yeah I know, it sounds ludicrous, and that’s because it is. And that’s exactly why it’s so amusing.
Film Facts: Picasso Trigger was written and directed by Andy Sidaris. The film was distributed by Malibu Bay Films and was released in 1988. Appearing in Picasso Trigger were seven Playboy Playmates, Dona Speir (March 1984), Hope Marie Carlton (July 1985), Roberta Vasquez (November 1984), Cynthia Brimhall (October 1985), Kym Malin (May 1982), Patty Duffek (May 1984), and Liv Lindeland (January 1971) all of which were cast in key roles. Harold Diamond as Jade (aka Harold Roth) was a well known Kick-boxer in the state of Florida and is credited as the films Martial Arts Choreographer. Diamond also appeared in several other Sidaris productions. The model plane and car creator/operator was Richard Keppel. Keppel worked close with Sidaris as a crew member and special effects artist in Hard Ticket to Hawaii (1987), Guns (1990) and Do or Die (1991). The crutch gun designer was Ellen Jones whom also worked on Hard Ticket to Hawaii (1987) as the rocket gun designer.
Thoughts In My Head: - Kym and Pattycakes need to learn a new dance step - I miss my text pager, NOT! - Harold Diamond as Jade looks sexy as ever with his braided ponytail - Pantera’s nipples always seem to be hard - Donna never disappoints, what a rack! - Whoever invented spandex outta be shot. Not flattering in the least on man or woman - OK, that was awesome, a wristwatch that doubles as a lighter - Taryn never disappoints, what a body! - Bad guys are always terrible shots - PANTARA, you bitch! - I like this movie - OK, this just got better, move over Rumble in the Bronx, there’s a new hovercraft in town - Awesome and silly at the same time, a crutch that doubles as a rocket launcher
Favorite Badass or Badass Moment: Salazar, just for being so damned sneaky Favorite Boobs or Boobs in a Scene: Donna’s shower scene. I love her boobs Favorite Death Scene: Any thug that gets blown up, and there are a few of them
Boob Count: 6 pair Body Count: 21
IMDB Rating: 3.8 / 10 My Rating: 5.5 / 10
Final Thoughts: Picasso Trigger is one of my favorite Andy Sidaris films for a couple of different reasons. 1 – the RC toys used as weapons, 2 – the boobs (though the film is light on skin) and 3 – the non-stop action, be it gun-fire or exploding bad guys.
Next Episode 12/17
Podcast Listening Portals Follow BB&BCs via Email Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. Join 932 other followers Like us on Facebook! Recent Posts BBandBC Podcast EP61 – Nude Nuns With Big Guns BBandBC Podcast EP60 – The Magnificent Butcher New BBandBC Capsule Reviews Web Site BBandBC Podcast EP59 – Even Dwarfs Started Small BBandBC Podcast EP58 – Bloodsucking Freaks BBandBC Podcast EP57 – The Sinful Dwarf BBandBC Podcast EP56 – The Terror of Tiny Town BBandBC Podcast EP55 – A Fallen Angel at the Manchester Morgue BBandBC Podcast EP54 – Willard BBandBC Podcast EP53 – Cannibal Holocaust BBandBC Podcast EP52 – The Big Doll House BBandBC Podcast EP51 – The Vanity Double Feature BBandBC Podcast EP50 – Attack of the Gorilla Beast BBandBC Podcast EP49 – Visitor Q BBandBC Podcast EP48 – The Spook Who Sat by the Door BBandBC Podcast EP47 – The Deadly Weapons of Agent 73 BBandBC Podcast EP46 – Bio Zombie BBandBC Podcast EP45 – Happy Birthday To Me BBandBC Podcast EP44 – Logan’s Run BBandBC Podcast EP43 – Scream Queen Hot Tub Party BBandBC Podcast EP42 – The Ghost and Mr. Chicken BBandBC Podcast EP41 – The Black Godfather BBandBC Podcast EP40 – Meet The Feebles BBandBC Podcast EP39 – Tenebre BBandBC Podcast EP38 – The Milpitas Monster BBandBC Podcast EP37 – Batman: The Movie BBandBC Podcast EP36 – Sharky’s Machine BBandBC Podcast EP35 – Humanoids From the Deep BBandBC Podcast EP34 – The Funhouse BBandBC Podcast EP33 – The Beyond Blog at WordPress.com . The Parament Theme . Follow Follow “Badasses, Boobs and Body Counts” Get every new post delivered to your Inbox. Join 932 other followers Powered by WordPress.com Send to Email Address Your Name Your Email Address Cancel Post was not sent - check your email addresses! Email check failed, please try again Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email. %d bloggers like this:
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Recent Posts BBandBC Podcast EP61 – Nude Nuns With Big Guns BBandBC Podcast EP60 – The Magnificent Butcher New BBandBC Capsule Reviews Web Site BBandBC Podcast EP59 – Even Dwarfs Started Small BBandBC Podcast EP58 – Bloodsucking Freaks BBandBC Podcast EP57 – The Sinful Dwarf BBandBC Podcast EP56 – The Terror of Tiny Town BBandBC Podcast EP55 – A Fallen Angel at the Manchester Morgue BBandBC Podcast EP54 – Willard BBandBC Podcast EP53 – Cannibal Holocaust BBandBC Podcast EP52 – The Big Doll House BBandBC Podcast EP51 – The Vanity Double Feature BBandBC Podcast EP50 – Attack of the Gorilla Beast BBandBC Podcast EP49 – Visitor Q BBandBC Podcast EP48 – The Spook Who Sat by the Door BBandBC Podcast EP47 – The Deadly Weapons of Agent 73 BBandBC Podcast EP46 – Bio Zombie BBandBC Podcast EP45 – Happy Birthday To Me BBandBC Podcast EP44 – Logan’s Run BBandBC Podcast EP43 – Scream Queen Hot Tub Party BBandBC Podcast EP42 – The Ghost and Mr. Chicken BBandBC Podcast EP41 – The Black Godfather BBandBC Podcast EP40 – Meet The Feebles BBandBC Podcast EP39 – Tenebre BBandBC Podcast EP38 – The Milpitas Monster BBandBC Podcast EP37 – Batman: The Movie BBandBC Podcast EP36 – Sharky’s Machine BBandBC Podcast EP35 – Humanoids From the Deep BBandBC Podcast EP34 – The Funhouse BBandBC Podcast EP33 – The Beyond
BBandBC Podcast EP61 – Nude Nuns With Big Guns
BBandBC Podcast EP60 – The Magnificent Butcher
New BBandBC Capsule Reviews Web Site
BBandBC Podcast EP59 – Even Dwarfs Started Small
BBandBC Podcast EP58 – Bloodsucking Freaks
BBandBC Podcast EP57 – The Sinful Dwarf
BBandBC Podcast EP56 – The Terror of Tiny Town
BBandBC Podcast EP55 – A Fallen Angel at the Manchester Morgue
BBandBC Podcast EP54 – Willard
BBandBC Podcast EP53 – Cannibal Holocaust
BBandBC Podcast EP52 – The Big Doll House
BBandBC Podcast EP51 – The Vanity Double Feature
BBandBC Podcast EP50 – Attack of the Gorilla Beast
BBandBC Podcast EP49 – Visitor Q
BBandBC Podcast EP48 – The Spook Who Sat by the Door
BBandBC Podcast EP47 – The Deadly Weapons of Agent 73
BBandBC Podcast EP46 – Bio Zombie
BBandBC Podcast EP45 – Happy Birthday To Me
BBandBC Podcast EP44 – Logan’s Run
BBandBC Podcast EP43 – Scream Queen Hot Tub Party
BBandBC Podcast EP42 – The Ghost and Mr. Chicken
BBandBC Podcast EP41 – The Black Godfather
BBandBC Podcast EP40 – Meet The Feebles
BBandBC Podcast EP39 – Tenebre
BBandBC Podcast EP38 – The Milpitas Monster
BBandBC Podcast EP37 – Batman: The Movie
BBandBC Podcast EP36 – Sharky’s Machine
BBandBC Podcast EP35 – Humanoids From the Deep
BBandBC Podcast EP34 – The Funhouse
BBandBC Podcast EP33 – The Beyond
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