Tag Archives: Hope Marie Carlton

Jun 5 2012

Picasso Trigger (1988)

The Plot:
Picasso Trigger begins with the assassination of businessman Alejandro Felipe Salazar (John Aprea). Salazar had just shown a painting of a Picasso Triggerfish at a museum in Paris and was killed when leaving. Meanwhile, in Hawaii, Donna (Dona Speir) and Taryn (Hope Marie Carlton) are up for an early morning shower and swim. After their swim, and over-looking the view from the beach, their boat is blown up by a small remote control plane packed with explosives. Elsewhere, Travis Abilene (Steve Bond) receives a phone call and is told about Salazar’s assassination. He doesn’t seem too surprised as Salazar’s past is somewhat shady.

Once all the agency employees are gathered and given their dossier’s, it’s off to catch the bad guy, Miguel Ortiz (Rodrigo Obregon). It seems that Ortiz is laying waste to those responsible for the death of his brother and won’t stop until they’re all eliminated. At this point, Travis partners with Pantera (Roberta Vasquez) whom he shared a past with, so naturally they make great partners. This however doesn’t sit well with Donna because her and Travis seem to be entangled in a relationship as well.

Even though the agency employees have their assignments, catching Ortiz is proving more difficult than the group had thought it would be as he evades death several times. They do however catch up with him and trust me when I say this, he gets what he deserves. This however doesn’t end the mayhem as we find that there’s more to this so-called spy story than meets the eye.

The Takeaway:
Like a lot of Andy Sidaris films, Picasso Trigger introduces us to a variety of characters early in the film. In fact, it takes nearly 45-minutes or so before these characters and the sub-plots start to come together. This is par for the course in most Sidaris productions, so I wasn’t overly concerned about the outcome simply because Sidaris always wraps up his stories nicely. What I really enjoyed about Picasso Trigger were the props used to kill the bad guys. You get an RC plane loaded with explosives to explode a boat. An RC car (A Tamiya Grasshopper to be exact) loaded with explosives to flush out the bad guys in Ortiz’s beach-front home. A boomerang loaded with explosives to kill a fast moving thug. And my favorite of the bunch, a crutch disguised as a rocket launcher, that’s right, a rocket launcher. Yeah I know, it sounds ludicrous, and that’s because it is. And that’s exactly why it’s so amusing.

Film Facts:
Picasso Trigger was written and directed by Andy Sidaris. The film was distributed by Malibu Bay Films and was released in 1988. Appearing in Picasso Trigger were seven Playboy Playmates, Dona Speir (March 1984), Hope Marie Carlton (July 1985), Roberta Vasquez (November 1984), Cynthia Brimhall (October 1985), Kym Malin (May 1982), Patty Duffek (May 1984), and Liv Lindeland (January 1971) all of which were cast in key roles. Harold Diamond as Jade (aka Harold Roth) was a well known Kick-boxer in the state of Florida and is credited as the films Martial Arts Choreographer. Diamond also appeared in several other Sidaris productions. The model plane and car creator/operator was Richard Keppel. Keppel worked close with Sidaris as a crew member and special effects artist in Hard Ticket to Hawaii (1987), Guns (1990) and Do or Die (1991). The crutch gun designer was Ellen Jones whom also worked on Hard Ticket to Hawaii (1987) as the rocket gun designer.

You can find out more about Andy Sidaris and his films at the Andy Sidaris Website run by his beautiful wife, Arlene Sidaris. You can also visit my review of Hard Ticket To Hawaii to learn a little more about Andy Sidaris.

Thoughts In My Head:
- Kym and Pattycakes need to learn a new dance step
- I miss my text pager, NOT!
- Harold Diamond as Jade looks sexy as ever with his braided ponytail
- Pantera’s nipples always seem to be hard
- Donna never disappoints, what a rack!
- Whoever invented spandex outta be shot. Not flattering in the least on man or woman
- OK, that was awesome, a wristwatch that doubles as a lighter
- Taryn never disappoints, what a body!
- Bad guys are always terrible shots
- PANTARA, you bitch!
- I like this movie
- OK, this just got better, move over Rumble in the Bronx, there’s a new hovercraft in town
- Awesome and silly at the same time, a crutch that doubles as a rocket launcher

Favorite Badass or Badass Moment: Salazar, just for being so damned sneaky
Favorite Boobs or Boobs in a Scene: Donna’s shower scene. I love her boobs
Favorite Death Scene: Any thug that gets blown up, and there are a few of them

Boob Count: 6 pair
Body Count: 21

IMDB Rating: 3.8 / 10
My Rating: 5.5 / 10

Final Thoughts: Picasso Trigger is one of my favorite Andy Sidaris films for a couple of different reasons. 1 – the RC toys used as weapons, 2 – the boobs (though the film is light on skin) and 3 – the non-stop action, be it gun-fire or exploding bad guys.

Feb 29 2012

Savage Beach (1989)

The Plot:
Savage Beach begins when Donna (Dona Speir) and Taryn (Hope Marie Carlton) uncover drugs moving through a small warehouse and then quickly kill the men moving them. We’re then taken to Donna’s hot tub, where Donna, Taryn and two other female agents get topless for a soak. Shortly afterwards, all four of the girls get a call from Shane (Michael J. Shane) Aviation hiring them to fly an emergency package of vaccines from Molokai to Knox Island where it’s badly needed.

After Donna and Taryn deliver the vaccines, they end up crash landing on Savage Beach . Savage Beach gets its name from being in an area of the Pacific that’s nearly impossible to access due to the fact it’s a small uncharted island with little to no survivability. On the other side of the planet, or should I say, on another close-by island, a plan is being laid out by the military in hopes of uncovering the whereabouts of gold that was lost by a WWII Japanese fleet. According to the data on hand, the missing gold is on or near Savage Beach. Hey, what a coincidence, Donna and Taryn are on the exact same island.

Unbeknownst to Donna, Taryn and the rest of the team looking for the gold, Philippine representative Martinez (played by the terribly bad Rodrigo Obregon), whom is playing a double agent working with the military and another group of thugs wanting to get their hands on the gold ends up on the island as well. Now that everybody on the planet is aware of the golds location and now that they’re all on the nearly “impossible to access” island, Savage Beach becomes a Battle Royale if you will as everyone involved has a weapon and will do anything to get their hands on the gold.

The Takeaway:
I love the films of Andy Sidaris. That being said, Savage Beach doesn’t stray too far from any of his other films in terms of storyline and or sub-plots. There are drug dealers, sexy large breasted women who carry guns (and know how to use them), plenty of boob and gratuitous death shots. There are also a wide variety of explosions (non-CGI) during the run of the film. Although Savage Beach is fun to watch, especially if you’re in the mood for a silly female-driven low-budget action film, what hurts it the most are all the badly scripted one-liners. There’s also a severe lack of chemistry between just about all the characters in the film thus leaving those one-liners to fall even flatter. The other thing I have to point out are all the dumb criminals in the film. One example is when actor/stuntman Al Leong (Die Hard, Lethal Weapon and many other bad 80′s action films) says “let’s finish these guys off with our hands”. C’mon, your guns are pointed at them, now is not the time to prove yourself a man by using your Kung-Fu on them, just shoot them dead already. A screen veteran such as Leong should have known better to say or do this. These glaringly bad things aside, I still love Savage Beach for what it is. Another brilliantly directed exploitation film from the one and only visionary, Andy Sidaris. See it, or miss out on the 14 different boob shots throughout the film.

Film Facts:
Savage Beach was written and directed by Andy Sidaris. The film was distributed by Malibu Bay Films and was released in 1989. Dona Speir (Donna) was born Penny Baker and was just 17 when her layout for Playboy was shot. The layout reported her as being 18 years old. Hope Marie Carlton (Taryn) was just 19 when she appeared in Playboy. She went on to appear in a handful of other films including A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master as a ‘pin up girl’ (in a poster on a wall). She also appeared in Andy Sidaris’ Savage Beach as Taryn.

The gorgeous Anjelica was played by the beautiful Teri Weigel. Teri is a former playboy playmate (April 1986) and a former XXX rated film star from the early 1990s. Teri tried to break into legitimate film by appearing in pictures such as Predator 2 , Cheerleader Camp , Marked for Death and Sidaris’ Savage Beach . Unfortunately, a car accident ended those hopes as it left her unable to work for a period of time leaving her to seek employment in the adult video business afterwards. You can find out more about Teri Weigel at her official XXX website (note: you must be at least 18 years of age to enter this site).

After Savage Beach , Al Leong went on to appear and work as a stuntman in many big Hollywood blockbusters. He appeared in films such as Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure , Last Action Hero , Escape from L.A. and Lethal Weapon 4 . Prior to Savage Beach , Al Leong could be seen in Big Trouble in Little China , Lethal Weapon , They Live and Die Hard . Al typically played a gun-toting thug in his roles. According to the Wikipedia, Al Leong hasn’t worked in the business since 2001. You can find out more about cinematic legend, Al Leong at the unofficial web site of Al Leong.

You can find out more about Andy Sidaris and his films at the Andy Sidaris Website run by his beautiful wife, Arlene Sidaris. You can also visit my review of Hard Ticket To Hawaii to learn more about Andy Sidaris.

Favorite Badass Moment: Martinez blowing up a computer nerd
Favorite Boobs or Boobs in a Scene: Anjelica striping exposing her amazingly perfect breasts
Favorite Death Scene: Martinez dying in a fiery explosion

Boob Count: 14 pair
Body Count: 14

IMDB Rating: 3.0 / 10
My Rating: 4.0 / 10

Final Thoughts: While Savage Beach has its moments, the dialogue and one-liners are questionable. However, fans of Andy Sidaris shouldn’t miss this.

Feb 12 2012

Hard Ticket To Hawaii (1987)

The Plot:
Hard Ticket To Hawaii begins in a warehouse where we see crates and boxes being moved around by those who work there. One such box contains a contaminated snake going to the department of health. Next we’re introduced to Donna (played by Playboy Playmate Jan 1984, Dona Speir) and her agency partner Taryn (played by Playboy Playmate Jul 1985, Hope Marie Carlton). Both Donna and Taryn are agents of the Government (what agency, I have no idea…) and double as island hoppers using their small cargo plane. Donna loads her plane with two tourists wanting to hop islands and also take a snake loaded crate as cargo. Little do they know, they take the wrong snake, the infected snake, onto the island with the tourist.

After dropping off the tourists, Donna and Taryn see a small remote controlled helicopter coming towards them. Inside the toy are two small packets of diamonds. The diamonds are meant for two of Seth Romero’s thugs but are intercepted by the gals. After the two girls fight off the thugs, they head home for a sit in the hot tub (naked of course). After the soak, the gals are roughed-up when two thugs enter the house looking for the diamonds. They fight off the thugs and upon them escaping, shoot the boss, Romero (played by Rodrigo Obregon) in the face, grazing his cheek.

As the film progresses, we meet the other half of Donna and Taryn’s team, Rowdy (played by Ronn Moss, The Bold and the Beautiful ) and his Kung-Fu sidekick, Jade (Harold Diamond, Rambo III ). As these two head towards Donna and Jade they are intercepted by one of Romero’s thugs toting a gun, a blow-up doll and riding a skateboard. After Rowdy and Jade dispatch of him using a bazooka, they meet up with Donna and Taryn and put together a plan to kill Romero and the rest of his thugs ending the terror on the beautiful Hawaiian islands.

The Takeaway:
Wow, what a ride I’ve just been on. Never before have I seen a man riding on a skateboard, holding a blow-up doll all the while shooting his automatic weapon at two Federal agents passing by in a jeep. This of course comes from the brilliant mind of writer/producer/director Andy Sidaris. Hard Ticket To Hawaii is an exploitation film at its finest as you get everything from nudity, explosions, gunfire to more nudity. What more can one ask for? Well, for starters, Hard Ticket To Hawaii is actually a pretty good film. Sure the performances from mostly inexperienced actors leaves a bit to be desired, but the story is cohesive and it moves along at a brisk pace never once boring the viewer (ok, maybe it gets boring once or twice). The relationship between Rowdy (Moss) and Jade (Diamond) is at first so bad, it’s laughable. But as the film progresses, the on-screen chemistry between the two pays off as they become the films comic relief. The single worst performance comes from Rodrigo Obregon as Romero. Sorry Rodrigo, you have exactly “no” acting ability and really should consider another line of work.

At first the films script seems to be all over the place in terms of plot as all the sub-text written into the story felt endless. I actually began to wonder were it was all going but as the film progressed, things begin to fall into place and all the loose ends you thought you had, get tied up. Direction from Sidaris is solid as is the cinematography by Howard Wexler. And considering the films budget (honestly, I have no idea what it was, but it couldn’t have been too much), the special effects are quite brilliant. In particular the helicopter explosion and all the gun-fire. Ohh, back to Rodrigo Obregon real quick. While Obregon can’t act to save his own life, he does manage to die convincingly at the end of the film. So a little bit of credit is deserved.

While Hard Ticket To Hawaii isn’t Gone With The Wind (it’s better), it’s an amazing look at one of Andy Sidaris’ boob-filled exploitation films of the 80′s. One I have to recommend to those of you who love less-then-perfect cinema and who love boobs.

Film Facts:
Hard Ticket To Hawaii was written and directed by Andy Sidaris. Andy cut his teeth in the business producing football and basketball games of all things. His talent took him to ABC where he worked on ABC’s Wild World of Sports producing and directing for 25-years earning him 7 Emmy Awards for his work. While Andy was a truly gifted TV producer/director, his real talent lied in filmmaking (IMO) as he was a man who had a vision and didn’t let anyone stop him from achieving said vision. You may argue that Andy’s films are less than perfect, and you’d be right, but every one of his films has a charm that isn’t often seen in today’s filmmaking.

Dona Speir (Donna) was born Penny Baker and was just 17 when her layout for Playboy was shot. The layout reported her as being 18 years old. Hope Marie Carlton (Taryn) was just 19 when she appeared in Playboy. She went on to appear in a handful of other films including A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master as a ‘pin up girl’ (in a poster on a wall). She also appeared in Andy Sidaris’ Savage Beach as Taryn. Ronn Moss (Rowdy) has spent the last 25 years in the business working on the daytime soap opera The Bold and the Beautiful . Harold Diamond (Jade) aka Harold Roth worked on Rambo III as a fight coordinator and is also known for being a former world champion kick-boxer.

You can find out more about Andy Sidaris and his films at the Andy Sidaris Website run by his beautiful wife, Arlene Sidaris.

Favorite Badass Moment: Anytime Donna & Taryn are killing in g-strings
Favorite Boobs or Boobs in a Scene: Donna. My new nickname for her is ‘missile tits’
Favorite Death Scene: Thug on a skateboard getting blown up by a bazooka

Boob Count: 8 pair
Body Count: 14

IMDB Rating: 3.5 / 10
My Rating: 5.0 / 10

Final Thoughts: One of Andy Sidaris’ better films. If you enjoy watching hot chicks with guns, this may be for you.